A journey of the soul

At the end of summer, 2013, I was shocked and shattered when my previously happy marriage of 10 years dissolved in a puff of smoke and anger. There were lots of reasons and I was willing to do what I could to remedy the problems. My ex was not. It was the greatest challenge, the deepest heartbreak, I have ever gone through.

As I considered my next move, I started thinking through my options. Should I keep working in an office and trudging through the days until my next vacation? Should I move out of the big, beautiful house I had worked so hard to make a slice of paradise? If so, where should I move? An apartment nearby? A different city? A different state? A different… GASP… country?

When the life into which you’ve invested your whole self and all your energy and passion dissolves like a crumbling skeleton before your very eyes, you can do a lot of things. You can cling. You can scrap along. You can sink into a hole never to reemerge. Or you can do what I did, and take a good hard look around.

Was I living the life I wanted for myself? Was I headed in a direction that led to some kind of fulfillment? Did my life have meaning? Was I reaching my dreams?

The answer to all those questions was a resounding NO.

So I did some research and asked a few people who were living lives I thought could be the right ones for me. I talked with family members. I made plans. And I decided to move to Costa Rica and teach English.

There are many reasons I was certain this was the right move for me. I love English. I am a grammar nerd extraordinaire. I majored in sociology and minored in anthropology. I visited 12 countries and loved it each time. I am a detestor of ethnocentrism and a lover of language and culture. I am passionate about literacy. I believe in empowering people to improve their lives. I was a student ambassador and firmly believe in enriching and improving foreign relations between nations by improving human understanding. I am a writer. I am a gypsy at heart.

The minute my decision was made to move to Costa Rica, my heart became tranquil and at peace. Everyone thought I was crazy. Everyone was worried and scared for me. But I knew with utter certitude that I would be all right. Not just all right, but HAPPY.

So I went through divorce proceedings and I got rid of most of my possessions. I quit my job with dignity and put them in a good place to move forward without me. I said goodbye to my home and my friends and loved ones. And I came here.

I traveled a bit then came to Quepos and began my studies here. I made friends. I worked hard – really hard. A community blossomed around me – embraced me – and I flourished in friendship and acceptance.

The other day I was walking around Quepos alone and smiling to myself as I noticed the signs of high season infiltrating the town. I saw the increased bustle and excitement in my town. And that is when it hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest: Costa Rica has become my home. I know this place. I love this place. I adore the people. I am infatuated with the culture. And I am not so much of an outsider as I was when I first arrived just over a month ago.

My Tico friends have embraced me wholly. They say my Spanish improves daily. My adventures fill my heart and so do the quiet moments sharing an Imperial watching the surf roll in.

This week I graduate from my certification program. On Saturday I go on a mini-vacation through the country and then I return to San José to pick up one of the jobs for which I’m interviewing (six currently!). I will settle into an apartment that one of my Tico friends has found for me.

But all of that is merely background noise, for I am already home.